How To Attract a Man.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Would you like some free anonymous advice?
Stranger: I just want to cyber
You: um
You: can i phrase my responses to sound like advice?
Stranger: just pretend to fuck me
Stranger: thats all i want
Stranger: some hot cyber sex
You: you can pretend to fuck me and i’ll find constructive ways to help you improve?
Stranger: i walk into the room wearing nothing but a skimpy skirt and a sports bra
Stranger: i lay on the bed and slowly run my hand up my leg
Stranger: to my thigh
You: I liked the way you walked in, but i think your rubbing should be reversed. go thigh to toe.
Stranger: to the inside of my leg
Stranger: slowly to the bottom of my skirt
You: okay, now we’re getting somewhere
Stranger: i playfully giggle and toss my long hair behind my shoulder with my free hand
You: don’t hide it behind that shoulder!
You: let it stay where it is, really show it off!
Stranger: i shake my head. hair is flying in the wind
Stranger: my wig falls off
Stranger: i jump up
Stranger: in shock. as i jump up, my large cock peeks out from under my skirt
You: oh this is no good. you’ve got to conceal your identity better.
You: you’re revealed as a man before you even remove your clothes?
You: that’s just poor planning.
Stranger: the oranges in my sports bra pop out and and splat of the floor
You: they splat? are they peeled already?
Stranger: its a more realistic feeling
You: these are pretty weak oranges.
You: well, i hope this is constructive.
Stranger: i shrug and take out my blowgun and shoot a dart into your neck
You: a blowgun?
Stranger: you pass out from the nyquil on the dart
Stranger: i then rape your asshole
You: OH!
You: i see your problem.
You: too much work and planning
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
