You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hello!
Stranger: asl
You: 25/m
Stranger: 45/f
You: I’m using this site as a way to offer strangers totally free anonymous advice.
Stranger: on how to get a young cock i hope haha
You: um.
Stranger: like yours..
You: well…is that something you need advice on?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: actually, im not 45 or a chick
Stranger: im 23 and a dude
Stranger: and i have a big problem
You: i’m listening.
Stranger: shit this cant be just chance
Stranger: this is so fucking wierd
Stranger: youre really going to help me?
You: just know, i’m prepared to answer real questions but i can handle jokes.
You: it doesnt matter
You: i’m an open book.
You: ANYTHING GOES.
Stranger: my minister told me that god would send someone to help me
Stranger: i have a problem
You: yes?
You: I’m ready for either the realest problem ever or the funniest joke.
Stranger: i work at a school
You: yes.
Stranger: with preschoolers actually
You: okay.
Stranger: sometimes while the rest are out at recess i ask this one little girl. lets just call her rebecca. to stay inside with me
Stranger: and i cant stop touching her
Stranger: what do i do
You: well…
You: i’ll say that i could give you a real answer to this
You: BUT
Stranger: i even started to have intercoarse with her
You: you did say you a 45 yr old woman who wanted young cock.
You: so..this is a joke.
You: so, do you want a joke answer?
Stranger: its really not i need help please dont go
You: Well the real answer is stop doing it.
Stranger: i cant
You: and the joke answer is: stop doing it because preschool aged girls are like a pandora’s box.
You: and on the inside is pure evil that you’ll release into the world.
You: demons, goblins, etc.
Stranger: or my hot juicy cum
You: also, dragons.
Stranger: ROFLOFLOFL
Stranger: LMFAO
Stranger: convincing? had i not botched it in the beginning by saying the whole lady thing
Stranger: hahaha
You: You started off really strong
Stranger: when? haha
You: like…if that woman thing wasnt there
You: you were selling it.
Stranger: hahah nice
Stranger: shit
Stranger: i shoulda let you finish what you were saying from the start
You: hhahaha
Stranger: youd think i was some really fucked up douche
You: yeah you could have really drawn it out
You: i care! i wouldve stuck with you
Stranger: damn it haha
Stranger: haha how could you have helped someone like that
You: let THIS be your advice on how to screw with people on omegle. realer is always better.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: like act real?
You: yeah
Stranger: and say fucked up shit like i did earlier
Stranger: like go around asking for help haha
You: details help
You: not specifically gross
You: okay well i hope I helped you wreak havoc and destruction across the internet
Stranger: nice
You: now go forth and make me proud.
You have disconnected.
Stranger: i think I am in love with my ex girlfriend, what should I do?
You: hmm.
You: this is tough.
You: how long were you 2 together?
Stranger: on an off about 1.5 years
You: and who broke up with who?
Stranger: we were both getting out of long-ish relationships when we met, so from the beginning it was probably a bad idea, but mainly because I am in the military and after a short deployment we just kind of drifted apart.
You: and are you being deployed again soon or are you sticking around for a while?
Stranger: haha, I’m actually moving to GA next week.
You: NO!
You: well…
You: the long distance thing is torture.
Stranger: yeah
You: do you think you love her enough to try to make that work?
You: if so, tell her how you feel and see what happens.
You: if not, i think you have to move to georgia..
Stranger: i HAVE to go to GA, no question. I know what needs to happen, I just dont think i want it to.
You: right i know..i’m saying that it seems like your choices are
You: a. a long distance relationship
You: or b. a fresh start
You: with an entire state full of single women…
You: what seems more appealing right now?
Stranger: honestly, niether. But, b is what is is going to have to be.
Stranger: The long distance thing is what caused the problems in the first place.
You: yeah.
You: It never really works.
You: women love a man in uniform though…that’s something, right?
Stranger: haha, i guess
You: there you go!
You: you seem less than confident about it, but i think it’s going to be okay
Stranger: thanks
You: the distance will let you realize your real feelings for your ex.
You: clear your head, etc.
Stranger: i know it will
You: well i hope this helped.
Stranger: thanks internet stranger
You have disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello!
Stranger: hello
You: Would you like some anonymous advice?
Stranger: yes
You: totally free and unbiased
You: what’s on your mind?
Stranger: your mothers vah vah
You: sure!
You: you want advice about it?
Stranger: ahhhhh
You: I don’t know much about it, but I’ll do my best.
Stranger: you lose
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Would you like some free anonymous advice?
Stranger: I just want to cyber
You: um
You: can i phrase my responses to sound like advice?
Stranger: just pretend to fuck me
Stranger: thats all i want
Stranger: some hot cyber sex
You: you can pretend to fuck me and i’ll find constructive ways to help you improve?
Stranger: i walk into the room wearing nothing but a skimpy skirt and a sports bra
Stranger: i lay on the bed and slowly run my hand up my leg
Stranger: to my thigh
You: I liked the way you walked in, but i think your rubbing should be reversed. go thigh to toe.
Stranger: to the inside of my leg
Stranger: slowly to the bottom of my skirt
You: okay, now we’re getting somewhere
Stranger: i playfully giggle and toss my long hair behind my shoulder with my free hand
You: don’t hide it behind that shoulder!
You: let it stay where it is, really show it off!
Stranger: i shake my head. hair is flying in the wind
Stranger: my wig falls off
Stranger: i jump up
Stranger: in shock. as i jump up, my large cock peeks out from under my skirt
You: oh this is no good. you’ve got to conceal your identity better.
You: you’re revealed as a man before you even remove your clothes?
You: that’s just poor planning.
Stranger: the oranges in my sports bra pop out and and splat of the floor
You: they splat? are they peeled already?
Stranger: its a more realistic feeling
You: these are pretty weak oranges.
You: well, i hope this is constructive.
Stranger: i shrug and take out my blowgun and shoot a dart into your neck
You: a blowgun?
Stranger: you pass out from the nyquil on the dart
Stranger: i then rape your asshole
You: OH!
You: i see your problem.
You: too much work and planning
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Ask away.
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